Im looking forward to running?

This summer, for the lack of the better term, is so big for me. The fact that I actually got a decent paying job definitely helps. I won't have to wake up at five thirty to walk to those evil golden arches and be pissed off everyday at the fact that i'm coming home smelling like some nasty fries. That and the fact that I would have to get up at the same time the next day and do the same thing all over again. I mean the other people that worked there were chill, but I wanted to reach out that drive through window and slap the shit out of the people in their cars some times. But thankfully I'll never be in that situation again now that I got this summer camp job. But besides having this summer job this is a big time for me for ball.
I mean this year i shit the bed. Whenever I had a chance to prove myself in a game, i fucked up. It pisses me off right now thinking about it because I know I could have played better in important games. Everyone said, oh you got some decent time as a freshman, but i don't want that. I want to actually contribute. The worst thing was that I played well in the scrimmages and in the beginning of the year, but I got to satisfied with that. I wasn't agressive enough. I feel like I'm back at high school because I thought that I'd play well, and in the beginning few weeks I did. But like in highschool my ass got splinters at the end of the year, but not because I didn't get hurt, i just didn't get any burn.
This summer though is all thought on work and ball though. I'm looking forward to working out and running because I don't want to be where I was before. I was so depressed in the middle of the year that I was a split decision from giving in my jersey atleast five or six times. The combination of not playing and playing like ass from time to time just made me feel like a waste. Like I was wasting my time, my coaches time, and my parents money. It was like I didn't matter at all.
Even though i felt like ass at the end of the season I still finished out. I've never quit at anything before in my life, especially at ball. If i did it would have just made things worse.
After I got out of my funk i realized that I was living out my dream. I never thought I would play in college. I was always hurt in high school and thought I would be done after that. But one summer gave me hope. After a few camps i got some letters from a bunch of different schools. Seeing those letters were probably one of the happiest moments of my life. My self esteem was through the roofs. I made my way back from 6 different injuries throughout High school, where people told me I would never be good enough. But I proved them wrong.
Now this summer I've got this chip on my shoulder to show the coaches in the fall that I can be a contributor. Every sprint, every lift, is all for the fall. Also the last game of the season is burned into my brain. That loss to WPI and the way we lost is also determination. Right now i'm just trying to think one day at a time, but I can;t wait for our first game against them. Theres gonna be hell to pay. But for now I just gotta think about the run tomorrow.

-peace & love