Damn its been a while

Its been a year since ive done anything with this thing right now. Actaully thought that i deleted this bad boy, but luckily I thought wrong and found it again. I've found this insatiable need to write ever since taking an english class again this semester. After not having one for almost a year and then being shoved right into it made me forget how I actually liked to write and express my opinions. Also this will help me to put some thoughts out which i really should let go or atleast shouldn't be said in public. So yeah here I am. This first year of college has blown by so quickly. The rate at which things happened this past year was rediculous. The ups and the downs, the friends made and the things that happened with them are ones that I'll keep with me for the rest of my life. From sports, to class, to the social life my eyes were definitely opened to a new and different group of people. Not to say that different is bad, but just interesting. I'm glad to have the different, just makes life more interesting. I got to stop using that word but my vocab is slacking right now so ill give myself a break.
The people not from NYC, which are most of them, at my school still just seemed too nice. I mean not to say that its bad, it actually freaked me out and it took me a while to get used to. I mean people just being that open to others freaked me out. With me coming where you have to watch what you say and who you say it to, made it a bit awkward. I mean some of these kids have no filter. They'll just walk right up to some random ass people and be like whats good. If that shit was said back here they'd be grilled and told get the fuck away from me, i dont know you. Shit at first I even grilled people and was like who the fuck are you? I guess it comes from just having to watch yourself. Seeing random thousands of people everyday on the train and the great silence that comes with it. I'm not gonna start a random conversation with someone on the train just cause theyre sitting next to me. Im gonna sit there with my headphones and bump my music and keep to myself, unless i'm with a friend. Its like the unwritten rule of the subway, you don't talk to random ass people unless your crazy, homeless, selling candy, singing, or preaching that the world is gonna end. At the same time it helped me to realize that not everyones an asshole either and that their are some really nice people out there. Not to say that New Yorkers aren't nice, but they don't show it all the time, thats for damn sure. Getting back to the weirdness, people told me to turn my music down in the beginning of the year because it was too loud when i was walking on the sidewalk. Wtf, just because i have it that way, if you dont like it gfy, seriously, you can walk ahead of me. Also people would just look and smile all the time either at me or other people and i would say to myslef what the fuck are you looking at? But thats just how some of those people are.
Believe it or not some of it did rub off on me because you gotta have fun at college because as they all tell you, and by they i mean parents, siblings, exc., it will be the "best years of your life." And usually being friendly helps when going out cause no one wants to be that guy. Unfortunately that culture shock will probably happen every year because i don't think i'm ever gonna get away from completely acting like that. But its whatever.
I also noticed that some of these kids have money out the asshole. I mean really these people have money on top of money. It seems like most of them don't know the value of a dollar. Its not like i dont like them, some of them are my friends, but they way they treat money is wreckless to me. I mean even my roomate, who is well off, lost 300 bones on one bet in a ball game. Like seriously dude, 300 dollars, that feeds my family for two weeks and then some. Also theres people that get money every week from their parents. Every week, and the shit could be anywhere from 100 to 200 bones a week. Are you kidding me? What the fuck. They spend that shit like its nothing, save that up and you get almost 3 gs at the end of the year. That stuff just blows my mind. At times I wish i was in there position, but then I realized that i'm thankful for what I have and the things I know. That was another the freaked me out because i've never really been around people that could go and drop 100 bucks at the small and not be the least bit self conscious that they just dropped that much. I mean i get mad at myself for dropping like twenty bucks on something, and some kids spend money like its their job. And everytime they go home they get a couple hundred, just for going home, like really?
Another thing that i realized is that so far this past year was a cakewalk. Like literally this has been the easiest year of schooling in like the past two or three years. Like my high school was so much more stressfull than this. Maybe it was the classes I took, but still, I was like laughing at shit. Hopefully i can get more of a challenge next year, because that stuff made me bored. Most of it was review I guess, but hopefully next year will be different. Reading over this i definitely sound like a cocky dude, but really, i need something new. Hopefully nutrition helps me out with that next year. Makes me sound like a bit of a nerd, but i guess i am a bit.
Sports were different too. I mean i'm glad I made varsity and played some decent minutes but the year still sucked for me. I mean in the beginnig and even during the year the practices were easier than they were in high school. We ran a bunch more and practices were easily two hours. This past year it was an hour and a half, and we were out. My year was trash. At first i was playing really well, especially in the scrimmages, in the first couple games i was getting decent burn, but my performance was slacking and because of that my minutes went down. Shit was depressing at times. It was either a decent day or I would just not be part of anything. It got to the point where i just wanted to quit because i was only playing like a minute or not even playing at all. I def didn't like my situation, but i gotta work at it because i know i can play with these dudes and do well, but i guess it just wasnt my year. Even thinking about it now makes me tight. But i just gotta keep working, fuck everyone else and what theyre doing and just play my game. The only good thing was that i wasnt hurt this year at all for the first time since the eighth grade. Being injured for 4 straight years fucked with my self esteeem so much that i didn;t even think id play college ball, but i proved myself wrong. Especially since i was gassed up with kids saying that i would be the best at my high school and then getting hurt. My high school career sucked in so many ways. I just wanna prove those people wrong with my college career and then shove it in their fucking faces. Anyway my bungees got a lot better which made me happy. The feeling at times was like I was flying or close to it and ill never forget that for the rest of my life. Hopefully with my work this summer things will turn around.
Another thing that i realized was that I really missed the food from home. I mean I would give my left nut for a good bagel or slice of pizza when I was up there. I mean really its just not the same at all. Some kids would eat the school pizza and be like its the best thing ive ever had. It just made me look at them and be like, wait what? and then i'd realized that they weren't from New York and felt sorry for them because they haven;t experienced the greatness that is real pizza. I mean when you order that shit they don't have slices, that shit freaked me out, especially since i couldn;t fold my food. That and chinese food. I mean the chinese food thier is cheap but again, just wasn;t the same.
Even though it was all different, the people, the campus, ball, the classes, I still liked it up there a lot. I mean i liked the small setting where you ended up knowing most of the people and where you were, it was kind of nice to see familiar faces and be with your friends cause the bonds you make with those people are so strong. It was ot the point where when people were leaving that some where crying cause their friends were leaving or they were leaving their friends. To me it seemed a bit rediculous, cause really, you'll be seeing those people in the summer, and its only a three month break and were right back at school, but then again people made some strong bonds. I know i definitely did, because it feels like I got a whole new family at that school. All in all, it was a crazy experience for the lack of a better term, and the friends that ive made their will always have a specail place with me. Damn, it feels good to get that off of my chest, I gotta do this shit more often.
- peace & love